Monday, March 26, 2012

My Slow Sunday ~ How I Miss You!

Ever had a weekend with which you just weren't ready to say goodbye? I'm sure most of us have! 

The whole weekend wasn't enjoyable, but Sunday my home felt to me like a little slice of Heaven.

And here's what I was up to:

Snuggled for awhile with the kitties before getting dressed...

Spent some time leisurely browsing all my various, addictive social media outlets I typically rush through during the week...

Organized my recipes & began putting them into 3-ring binders with page protectors...

Took my girls to rent movies & they didn't bother to "get dressed" ~ lol!

 Periodically checked on my dear hubby, who's painting my sewing room for my upcoming birthday!

And watched this movie, The Goonies, while prepping & cutting fabric to make my penpals some bookmarks...

I'd spent some time earlier in the week cleaning up Montie's room a bit (it's through that door.) We'd put our entire 1st floor on either the 2nd or 3rd floors in advance of the flooding in Sept. if it was small enough to go up the stairs, and most of it has been brought back down except for my sewing room boxes. But while I straightened things & began sorting through boxes, I found things like luggage & an old dog crate that were used around flood time too. So I dragged a bunch of things to the 3rd floor for storage, and after having made more room, put the boxes of fabric that had been in the room shown below into Montie's room.

I feel like I can move in this large landing-not-quite-a-room!!

I was THRILLED to set up my full-sized iron! Small things thrill us simple folk, and after ironing for the last 6 months on a table-top ironing board, using the full-sized one feels like some sort of luxury! Ah... perspective is everything, eh?

For dinner I threw some cheese on top of left over spaghetti with meat sauce & called it Baked Spaghetti. Salad was left over from the previous night's dinner, and I reheated some rolls in the toaster oven. For those of you who remember, I don't like to cook and so having a decent meal that isn't bought out but that I didn't really have to do much preparation for is Heavenly for me!!

I ended the evening by starting the movie Act Ventura: Pet Detective with the girls, but we turned it off at 9pm when we realized Long Island Medium was on for the first time this season!

Then I happily crawled in bed around 10:30 with my latest great read, The Hunger Games. I HAVE to read it before we go see the movie!

Now onto Monday & all the fun a workday brings.

Happy End-of-March all!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

A book review on for one more day by Mitch Albom

An excerpt taken from the front inside cover:
"For One More Day is the story of a mother and a son, and a relationship that lasts a lifetime and beyond. It explores the question: What would you do if you could spend one more day with a lost loved one?"

For One More Day

Charley lives an ordinary life as a baseball playing boy, until his father disappears when he's eleven. In a time when divorce was uncommon, he spends the rest of his childhood embarrassed over his broken family and resenting his mother for it.

As an adult Charley does a short stint in professional baseball, but after an injury forces him out, he becomes an alcoholic and never recoups his zest for life. Until finally, he sees no meaning in life at all, and that's really where the story begins.

I'll admit I thought longer & harder before buying this book, about whether I actually wanted to read on this subject matter. With mourning the loss of my son, Montie, I was concerned the book would dredge up sad feelings, but it didn't really. 

As Charley is in the throes of grieving all his life wasn't, he heads back to the house in which he grew up and miraculously finds his mother there... who passed away years before.

The book takes us back and forth in time, sometimes sharing poignant moments when his mom stuck up for him in childhood or when he didn't stick up for his mom, and then back to the present as Charley follows his mother through what appears to be a routine day.

I do love Albom's style of writing. He expresses emotions and attitudes so clearly without being unnecessarily wordy. I mean, I like wordy, too, now and then, but sometimes some straight-forward writing is a breath of fresh air. 

I love that Albom gives us something to mull over in "what would I do with that" situations.

In the end, I've come to decide I wouldn't want to spend "one more day" with Montie the way this book outlines. To me that would be emotional torture. Even in the deliriously happy moments of just seeing him again, I'd be sure to recognize that unless I'm dead, I'm not seeing him forevermore. 
And that's horrific ... cruel ... I wouldn't want to have to say goodbye in that way to Montie again.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

3 Years Ago...

I remember clearly what I was doing three years ago. 

March 18, 2009 I'd woken with the sun rising. I was on the 9th floor of the Johns Hopkins Children Hospital, having dozed the night away next to Montie while he tried to fitfully sleep through his pain.

I was eager to get up & be somewhat coherent because I knew the docs would start rounding before 7am. It could be difficult to get the surgeon later for questions, so being ready with questions and/or suggestions was best. 

I was so thankful for the beautiful day, waking up next to Montie, that I took a picture of the sunrise...

Throughout the day I ran downstairs for movies, drinks, any food that Mont might be persuaded to eat. There was talk of Montie going home & so much of the day was spent focusing on his blood thinner levels, whether we could have the correct meds at our local pharmacy to control his levels once we returned home, and talking with pain management. 

All was arranged & it was a "go". As dinnertime approached, there was a party going on down the hall for all the kids & their families. We took turns going for food but we were mostly eager to get everyone & everything loaded into the car & headed home. 

While Marshall took the girls for food, I began the painful process of getting Montie up & dressed to go home. My little boy was in so much pain this time around. Not only did he have the 10" long incision pain on his back, but most of his boney back was covered with a huge, grotesque-looking hematoma. For those not familiar with the term, it's basically like a very painful, extreme bruise. 

While I was buttoning up his red flannel, snowman pajama top, he had his arms around my neck for support. My face was near his because I was leaning into him, so he wouldn't have to stretch his arms (and his back) more than necessary knowing it was painful. 

And then he shocked me by kissing my cheek & telling me how happy he was to be going home. 

This moment is etched in my memory forever. Montie was such an affectionate child with me. Maybe some would call him a "Momma's Boy"... but he was a hugger, never free with kisses. 

And soon thereafter we were on our way home. The girls were with us because they were always so excited for homecoming day. They love their brother & were very familiar & comfortable being at Johns Hopkins. 

But we were never happier then when we could all be home again.

Because Montie was in more pain this time, he wasn't able to walk up to his bedroom to sleep. And because he was taller & in so much pain, we determined we wouldn't try to carry him up the stairs but rather we'd sleep in the family room.

Marshall made a fire... we got Montie as comfortable as we could on the couch... and I made a make-shift bed on the floor next to him. And that's how we spent our last night together. 

Montie was a homebody like the rest of us. I find some comfort that he passed away after he'd gotten home & it didn't happen in an impersonal hospital room. 

But there are those little questions. The what-ifs... What if he'd gone into cardiac failure while he was still at Hopkins? Could they have saved him? Would he have even wanted that? I try not to play this game, because I'm pretty sure it could literally drive me insane.

And though there are so many fantastic memories of Montie being silly, kind, loving, fishing, playing PS3 with his friends, having sleep-overs, making videos with his sisters, holding his hand, watching him zip around on his beloved red scooter, watching his brow furrow when deep in thought, doing science experiments, reading in bed...  they're just not as satisfying to my soul as holding my boy on my lap while he twirls my hair (to the intense irritation of his sisters!)

I miss him every day & will miss him forever until we are reunited in Heaven.

This is the last picture taken of Montie...
June 6, 1998- March 19, 2009

Bleary Eyed Blogger

It's 1:52am & I'm still wide awake. It's mostly due to having taken a nap to stave off a vomit-inducing migraine. Sorry, that was gross. 

The pain migrated from my neck to the right side of my head as I drove to the quilt shop to make a delivery. Driving with my left hand, I fumbled in my purse with my right hand, digging out a mixture of two Advil with a Vanquish, thrown back with half a water bottle. (I pondered dehydration?)

It was about then at noon that I realized I'd only had a banana with some grapes for breakfast. Maybe I was just over-hungry? My fellow migraine sufferers will understand this quest to find The Trigger.

Once at the shop, I found the ladies (one of whom is my BFF) heading to the family-owned market store up the road for lunch. I went along & hung out at the shop eating my lunch with all the actual class-takers. And I felt better until I started driving. 

What the hay??? Undulating farmland left me feeling queasy. I opened the windows, turned off the air, got hot & nauseous, turned the air back on, propped my elbow on the door & held my head while I drove...

Thanking God, I pulled into the driveway~ Thankful to have made it home without having had to pull into somebody's parking lot or on the side of the road simultaneously serving as comedic horror for passersby.

I changed into dumpy clothes & hit my bed... and stayed there for a good 2+ hours. I'm not usually a good napper. I wake feeling more crabby & tired usually than if I'd just toughed it out until an early bedtime came around. However, sometimes a tough migraine just needs to be put to bed. 

I didn't even feel like I'd slept, but I must've because now I'm wide awake.  This is one of those rare moments I'm glad my kiddos are growing up & I know I can sleep in :)

p.s. Here is the latest quilt:

Friday, March 09, 2012

Quilts from the week

Mustard Large Star top quilted with the Hedges panto:

Midnight Sun top quilted with Freehand Puffy Heart:

 Colored Rectangles top quilted with Freehand Loops & Stars:

I'm a woman of few words lately.

It seems life likes to throw me curve balls, and I must be slow at learning adeptness at handling this... 

2011 was a dramatic year for our family, and I've been keeping all my fingers, toes, and hairs crossed wishing for a more "normal" year for us. 

So far, it's not been too terrible, but I literally spent the entire month of February sick. First I had a chest cold with a cough that went on for three weeks, and just as I was getting rid of that, I picked up a head cold. (Yes, first it was in my chest & then it was all in my head! heehee)

I haven't felt that run-down since last year when I had the flu! So much falls by the wayside when you're trying to get by on limited energy. Sigh... so I'm finally starting to catch up on some things I'd meant to do some weeks ago, and that does feel good.

Hope y'all have a fantastic weekend!