Snap Bag Success and an EPIC FAIL!

Our family gathered at our home this past weekend to celebrate three birthdays & Mother's Day. I'd actually already visited my Mom on Mother's Day & gave her some cloth napkins I'd sewn up, but since I was on a snap-bag-making roll, I whipped one of those up for her too :)

Butterflies for my SIL, and the blueish for my MIL

The Hair Dresser for my oldest daughter, and Daisies for Mom

Penn State for my younger daughter, and Musical Notes for me

This pattern by Stitchin' Sisters for these "Snap Happy I" bags is easy to follow, and they're great fun to make (ie: fairly immediate gratification.) As you can see, they're perfect for those novelty fat quarters that seem to breed sorta like the piles of dirty laundry in my house!

The secret to their snap closure is a metal tape measurer inserted into the casing! Below is a pic of someone demonstrating how to open it using the flaps.

These fit nicely in a purse, tote, diaper bag, whatever... I like to hide my "girl supplies" in mine, but I've heard gals use them for make-up, pens/paper, medication, money, etc.

So those were a success. Now my EPIC FAIL....

I started with my blue tote of scrap fabric (if you look closely you can see that Stan Stan the Hairy Man climbed into it)...

Found some darks, some lights & cut them into 1/2" strips, not really caring how long they were -- and really, truly DID consult the pattern shown, "Get Hooked 2" by Grizzly Gulch Gallery. Was attempting to make a small table runner as shown...

Sewed all the many strips together, opting to go light, dark, light, dark, and so on.

Rolled them into a nifty fabric ball & began crocheting.

And this is what I was left with by the time I'd run out of strips that had been that nifty fabric ball...

Does this resemble the shown runners, placemats, center pieces on the front of that there pattern.... ANYTHING?? How 'bout a banana boat or the bottom of a crocheted slipper?!?!?

*FAIL*

I obviously didn't understand WHEN exactly to put the extra stitches in, thereby making the "corners". I did do those extra stitches in what I thought were the right places, but well, you can see how that turned out.

I will have to consult with my Crochet Expert On Hand, a.k.a.: MOM!! 

I found the crocheting soothing & fun to do -- I was stitching away while watching a movie, so perhaps I wasn't paying attention, thought it was mindless stitching, and thus I've borne a banana boat...

A Mother's Prayer for Her Child by Tina Fey

A Mother’s Prayer for Her Child By Tina Fey

Bossypants

Tina Fey Hard At Work

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.”

-Tina Fey

Although I wouldn't have said all these things quite like Tina Fey has, the sentiments are basically the same.

Happy Mother's Day Ladies :)

What would I do if...

 ... I won the Powerball? Or any other large-sum-paying lottery-type game? I'll confess this isn't likely to happen since I've never  played & wouldn't even know how to ask for it, or all those numbers, and what the heck is that "power ball", or the red ball, for?? (wait, are they one & the same thing??)

So the question was posed over at Erica Vetsch's blog, and I had a little fun thinking about this for myself. 

FIRST thing I'd do:  pay off some of our hefty debt-- do you KNOW how much a law degree costs people?? Not me but the hubby. (I have my own student loans to remind me that I went to school without ever actually graduating or earning that degree, but they're not nearly as impressive.) But to pay off the house, and some other ancillary money-sucking  companies would be a little bit o' honey here on earth.

(Can I grow one of these by the way?)

Okay, SECOND thing I'd do:  buy myself & sock away the money for upkeep on a beach house.

Besides being at home in my hermit way, I love, love, LOVE the beach. There is nothing that stirs such a primal connection to the earth for me as sitting on the beach feeling a powerful ocean pound the sand in front of me. I love the smells, the taste of salt on my lips, the way it makes my skin feel, the laid-back atmosphere-- 

Cold with a sweatshirt or hot with a  bathing suit, it is where I feel most at home.

The THIRD thing I'd do (after I figured out where I was living):  hire a housekeeper. You know, someone matronly that wouldn't give my husband a second glance  ;-P but who'd clean up after all my "pig-people" (sorry, but you know I say it with love), my beastly animals, and WHO WOULD COOK!! I hate to cook but love to eat. I so want a cook... short-order or chef. I'm really not too picky.

FOURTH on my list might be one of those things that sounds good, while I wouldn't actually enjoy it?? As I've shared today & other times, I tend to be a hermit. I like my home, I have many hobbies & am able to keep happily busy playing the piano, sewing, quilting, reading, writing, blabbering, blogging, cross-stitching.... etc., and never get bored!! 

BUT I've always yearned to travel beyond our U.S. borders a bit more. When I was a kid I went to Canada & saw Niagra Falls. And a handful of years ago, my hubby & I went to London for just about a week.

I'd love to see the Egyptian pyramids, visit Jerusalem, hike in a tropical rainforest or lounge on a Caribbean beach. Maybe...

And last but definitely not least, FIFTH:  I'd invest in our retirement & some health insurance. Being self-employed people, we are in need of both in a big way!!

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WON THE POWERBALL?